I did a very scary thing — and discovered the secret to good health
By Caroline Zielinski
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About eight months ago, I did a very scary thing.
I quit my job to search for meaning — and it dramatically improved my heath.
It may sound like a story as old as (millennial) time: young person gets job, job is not as great as young person thought, young person keeps quitting and looking for other jobs to satisfy them.
But switching from one unfulfilling role to the next failed to shift the insomnia, the abject anxiety, the mindless, nervous scratching and my painful gut.
Friends couldn’t quite understand why I was so miserable and so sick: you have a good job, they’d say. It pays well. You can travel.
Logically, I agreed. So, I tried to tell myself that it wasn’t so bad, while every day wondering: “is this all there is?”
A ‘modern malaise’
As it turns out, I wasn’t alone.
Experts are calling this feeling of meaninglessness a “modern malaise that if left unresolved, can lead to symptoms of anxiety, depression, hopelessness, or physical decline”.
Since the 1950s, psychologists and doctors have been increasingly interested in how living a purposeful life affects our wellbeing.
Many experts attribute our preoccupation with meaning to the fall of traditional religion, which seems to have left society with a collective existentialist gap.
It’s actually difficult to find (Western) ruminations on the meaningless of existence before the 19thcentury, a time when the world was understood to possess intrinsic purposefulness and meaning.
With the absence of organised religion and increasing isolation from community, we’re often trying to fill the vacuum with what we think defines the 21st century: work, productivity, efficiency — and money.
The problem is, it doesn’t seem to be working.
Mental health a casualty
We know there is a link between mental health and having a purpose in life, with studies showing meaning is associated with positive feelings of mental and physical health.
Suicide — the biggest killer of young people aged 15 to 24 in Australia — is also strongly influenced by a perceived lack of meaning and purpose in life, and studies have found “higher levels of existential vacuum among the young”.
“I think it is such a challenging time for millennials,” says career counsellor and psychologist Tina Papadakos.
“There are so many choices available today that it can be overwhelming, and the expectations to gain higher qualifications are higher than ever before. Most incur a debt for a commitment to tertiary, which puts even more pressure on them to make the ‘right’ choices,” she says.
Ms Papadakos has been working with people who are lost in their career — and even life — for years.
She says high expectations, combined with disappearing entry-level jobs, an increasingly casualised workforce and the effects of digital disruption have left many of us, particularly millennials, living with extreme uncertainty.
“Being in a job that is meaningless to us is not so good for our mental health. It is thus important to give this aspect of our lives a lot of consideration,” Ms Papadakos says.
Purpose slows ageing
It’s not just about mental health — longitudinal studies link a strong sense of purpose to reduced premature mortality, slower development of age-related disability and reduced incidence of cardiovascular disease.
Other studies show sense of purpose also correlates to reduced risks of disability, stroke, heart disease, sleep issues and other health problems.
A 2017 study showed people who have goals and a sense of meaning were less likely to have weak grip strength and slow walking speeds when they reached old age, two signs of declining physical ability and risk factors for disability.
And overall, people who believe their activities are meaningful also tend to be healthier.
Meaning tells us who we are
Academic and occupational health clinician Dr Ben Milburn from Curtin University says humans are constantly seeking purpose and ways of understanding the world, whether that’s through interaction with other people, cultural activities, work or something else.
“We define meaning through culture — so everything you don’t have to do to survive,” he says.
“We do this through stylisation — what we enjoy, consume and the activities we engage in is what helps define who we are and where we’re going in the world.”
So if you feel unsatisfied, demotivated and like there should be … more, Ms Papadakos says you’re probably not living your truest life.
“Not all life fulfilment comes through paid work,” she says. “It is up to the individual to determine where they will find this.”
As I’ve found out the hard way, this is not an easy thing to do.
One year on, the anxiety is still there, albeit for a different reason: a lot of my work is freelance now, so making sure I have a steady income takes more thinking, failing and time generating ideas.
But the stomach pains are gone, I sleep eight hours every night, and the scratching? Well, I’m working on it.
Best of all is that I no longer ask myself if this is “all there is” — because if that’s the case, then it’s a pretty good life.
Caroline Zielinski is a freelance writer.
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